atuinsails

Otherwise known as the death of a series.  Spoilers and rant behind cut.

( SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS )

is the air conditioning on the fritz, but now my period is early again.  I'm calculating that I should be back to a normal cycle by the end of the year, since I'm already back to a 37 day cycle after coming down from a 42 day cycle at the end of the year.  Still I'm be glad when I stabilize.  Goddess knows, my hormones are killing me enough as it is.

BTW, another novel went swirly.  I'm not sure what happened but the beginning came out all wrong, and I just couldn't fix it.  I've put in in a folder to marinate for awhile longer.  My new idea (yes I started writing again immediately.  This is a writing month, this is what we do) is going along well.  I'm not sure yet if it's going to be a story or a novel, but it's going to be good, I think.

... that Michael Jackson will fade from the news now that they've buried the man.  Leave him in peace, people.

I finished the first pass on my script.  It still needs a lot of work, but the most glaring mistakes in spelling and grammar are fixed as well as a small continuity error.

My houseguest just left.  I am very sad.  She is muchly missed.

And since they have deleted my comment, I'm just going to do a quick post to say I'm sorry.  Hopefully, you will read this and know that I am sorry.  I wouldn't dream of linking to you or the post in case of upsetting you more. 

So, the potatoes are ready to come out of the garden, the seed cleaning season is gearing up and the hubby just started ten hour days, and I have a friend coming to visit this weekend.

Yeah!!!!!!  Busy, busy, busy!

.... I'm doing some cleaning on my blog, so over the next week, I'll be slimming down the friends list, thinning the tag cloud, and changing my background.

So I'm slowly coming back to sanity.  I've just about played myself out of the first infatuation with Sims 3.  Lovely game.  Lovely, wonderful game.  My period is about to end, so the hormone storm is almost over with, just in time for the next one.  And after doing some sleuthing, I've figured out why my PMS was about four times more horrible then usual.

My cycle has been out of whack since I weaned Freesia.  It's been approximately six weeks long for several cycles, then in the last three cycles, it has been shortening itself by about two days every time.  So literally, my hormones are trying to get my body back to the usual twenty eight day cycle.  I'm not really close yet (if the pattern continues, it will take approximately another five monthes), but it's nice to know that the depression isn't getting worse.  My body is just trying to get back to the norm, maybe for another baby. 

But I'll try not to get my hopes up over that.

And I was like high for about four hours on that news alone.  I don't know.  I've been having some problems with that Staph infection again, my period came early (and has set off my IBS, which had been managed quite well for almost two weeks), and I'm still having trouble sleeping, hence the very early morning posting.

I feel out of control.  Hubby's schedule is changing, so we are still adapting.  And I can't seem to write anything new.  I had much trouble today with just revising the script.  I have had problems all day, partly I think because I fell asleep on the couch and woke up with my body out of alignment.  My right hip felt like it was broken.  Chris helped me up, and I felt better after a shower and some tylenol, but I'm still having problems. 

Part of me wants to diet.  I actually logged into sparkpeople.com today.  I don't want to diet.  I know if I try I just start that roller coaster all over again.  I just need to get some sleep and let my schedule settle out.  I just .... 

Freesia going to school in the fall preys on my mind.  I really don't know if I can write without her here to distract me.  I know that sounds weird, but you would be amazed at what you get used to.

I just need to get to sleep I think.  And in that case, I'm going to go try now.

... also known as Promise Kept is done.  I'm going to let it marinate for a couple of monthes while I work on other stuff and hopefully get some other people to read it.  In the mean time, I'm being good and not pirating The Sims 3 or prowling about looking for a store that has broken the ship date rules (they are out there according to the fact the sims 3 site is now live)  I'm waiting for my advance order from amazon.com.  I'm not...

Hey did you see a plumb bob.  It must be something ....

I'm not going to go searching for torrents or downloading a client.  I said I wasn't going to do that if I was going to do hulu.com.  I ... don't see a plumb bob.  It does not taunt me.  I'm going to do houseowrk and wait for my birthday present.  I've only been waiting seven monthes.

I'm going to balance the evil side of me with some good housework.  Or maybe a nap.  Or some soda.  Maybe some gemcraft, the new expansion is out.  Something that will keep me from pirating the sims 3.

I'm going now.

"Something is wrong here.  Everyone is talking to me, but no one is talking to each other.  Button, button who's got the button.  Maybe the witch does."

In the May 4th epsiode of House, he finally got rid of his hallucination/subconscious avatar, Amber.  In the above quote, Spike in his mad way is pointing out that not everyone on the stage can see each other.  Then there is Stephen King's Space Cowboy.  In Gerald's Game, this is a passing reference to someone that is completely outside the real and must be a hallucination.  In a later book, Lisey's Story, the space cowboy becomes more defined as a fan who sees the author as having some great mystical connection to the unseen world.

What do these things have in common?  I often have insomnia.  I also have problems with sleeping more than an hour at a time.  This does not give me a lot of time on the REM bus.  What dreams I do have are violent and often cause me to lay in bed wondering if it's over with.  Night terrors come close, except I'm often frozen in place instead of thrashing and screaming.

Have I ever seen something that wasn't there?  I have to say yes.  I know that may surprise some, but one of the first signs that you have to get some sleep is that thing in the corner of your vision you can never catch.  Have I ever seen people?  No.  Have I ever heard voices?  No.  Vapor trails?  Yes, actually.  Staring in to space usually equals vapor trails.  They are eye catching and pretty.  I have heard screaming, but that's an auditory hallucination that I usually immediately doctor with something I know is going to knock my ass out.

I find that the closer to Mother's Day it gets the more I think about my daughter.  She recently had a birthday, and her verbal development is leaping.  Today she explained to me that she was wearing a new dress her grandmother brought her for her birthday.  This is true of course, but a year ago, the pediatrician was trying to get us to take her to speech therapy because they felt she wasn't developing properly.

Everyday is something new.  Sometimes, it's not something I appreciate, like whining.  Whining is the number one reason for corner sitting and the occassional raised voice in this house.  Other times, we will all be sitting on the couch, and she will announce that we are a family.  This kind of understanding is something that seems to come about spontaneously.  I pretty much watch everything she does and nothing has really discussed the definition of family, unless I was doing something else when it did.  And I certainly didn't do it, because I thought she was too young.

Sharing is something we work on, but she is always surprising me.  Sometimes, the offer to share a half mashed banana is made regally, while reminding her that toys that are not shared are taken away is made four times in an hour when company is visiting.

Sometimes, I wonder what I'm going to do when she goes to preschool, which will be soon and it will be full time.  I've had this funny little person for company for the last four years.  She's always made me laugh, and she's sometimes made me pull my hair.  But in the end, she is my day.  Everything is planned around her.  What happens when she is gone for seven hours a day?

it took two tries, but I finished a movie script.

I don't understand why everyone is going on about this. Torture is bad. Period. End. Of. Sentence. I don't see how any information we could have gotten would have helped stave off another attack. If you are in enough pain, you will do anything. I'm pretty sure that all you have to do is "waterboard" me once, and I would tell you anything you wanted to know, including what bin Laden had to drink at my birthday party.

Torture=bad. Loss of honor=bad. Torture=loss of honor. Am I the only one who is concerned about that?

The movie script comes along.  The fairy story falls behind.  Work continues on Promise Kept's second pass.  I'm going insane.

Was full of win.  All the way to the end and that little diatribe from Penny to Hotch and Hotch's sort of apology.  I think what got me most was his sincerity.  That actor has always seemed to me to be just a bit wooden, but that works, because Hotch is just a bit wooden.  But in that final scene, you really see how sincere and heartfelt he can be.  It was a good episode.

I need a smaller internet if I'm going to start writing again.  And it just keeps getting bigger.